LETTER TO ANIEMA: MY HUSBAND USED ME TO REPAY A DEBT AND NOW AM PREGNANT, WHAT DO I DO?

Dear Ann,
I am encouraged by the maturity in which readers respond/comments to stories on this blog, that’s why I decided to share my story. Please for the sake of privacy am giving a fictional name, I hope that’s okay by you. I am Mrs Augusta Silvanus from one of the eastern states of Nigeria. I have been happily married to my husband for twelve years and we have three children to show for it. Though I didn’t conceive until after three years in marriage and during these period my husband stood by me against warring relatives clamouring for my inability to conceive after three years of marriage. After visiting several gynaecologist and undergoing series of test I was made to understand that neither I nor my husband have any issue that we are both okay and that we will have children. So, we stopped visiting any hospital but placed our faith in God and to Him be the glory three years and eight months into my marriage I conceived.

It was a long awaited miracle, I was relieved and grateful to God and my husband was overjoyed. The birth of my first son, Isaac was a big celebration in my family and neighbourhood. Three years later I took in and gave birth to a set of twins, a boy and a girl. I was a happy woman, a complete woman and by God’s grace I have proven my critics wrong. My husband business was booming and my husband wouldn’t allow me to work but stay at home and take care of our children and also look beautiful for him. I was the pride of my husband and he never failed to shower me with lots of gifts and made sure I and the children didn’t lack anything, life was rosy, life was fun and I was living it well, until two years ago. My husband business suffered a great loss; our warehouse loaded with millions of naira worth of goods got burnt mysteriously. A vessel bringing my husband’s goods from Europe got missing in the high sea, life took a nose-dive for us. We had to sell our houses and other properties to pay off some loans and life became tough. My husband became suicidal, my world was shattered when I got home from my teaching job one day in a small private school where my children also attended to find my husband tying a rope round his neck in our room and parlour apartment we now managed at Mushin area of Lagos.

My world came crashing, what would have happened if I hadn’t come in that instant, how could I cope on my own with our three children, with no help from anyone and the little I was earning, goes for our feeding and rent and the children school fee. As if things were not tough enough, my husband friend, Alhaji yusuf whom my husband was indebted to a tune of three million naira came calling late last year to collect his money from my husband. After pleading with Alhaji, he promised to wave off the debt on one condition. That my husband allow him to spend one week with me as payment to the debt. We were both baffled and angry at him for ever thinking we would give in to his condition and his effrontery, we told him to go to hell that we will pay him his money and he gave us just six months to pay up. How are we to raise three million naira within six months without any reasonable means of livelihood. We were helpless, my husband and I tried virtually everything we could to beat up the deadline, we sold everything we could think of, my expensive wrappers, shoes, Jewries and my husband did every odd jobs that came his way. By the time we rallied round our friends and relations we were only able to raise eight hundred thousand naira, a far cry from three million naira. The tension and stress was too much for us, my husband fell sick and we had to use part of the money for his treatment.

It was with great pain and tear filled eyes that my husband turned to me one night a week to the end of Alhaji’s deadline and asked the question I had been dreading to hear for sometime. ‘ Darling, what are we going to do?’ he asked. We both held each other and cried helplessly. It was the longest night, I have ever experienced. One week later, alhaji came calling with two hefty hardened looking men in tow. We begged in tears on our knees for him to have mercy, that my husband fell sick and that he should give us some more time. He sat down and watched our helplessness for a while. Then he looked at my husband and said ‘why are you being so hard on yourself, all I want is one week with your wife, am not going to eat her, just one week for three million naira, am I not fair enough? He asked smiling foolishly. How can someone be so mean, what happened to humanity and conscience? I asked weakly. Which he didn’t reply but stomped out of our room with the stern warning that he’s giving us just one month more.
We were at a loss, who could we turn to at this stage and Alhaji had only given us one month grace. There was nothing more to do, at the expiration of the one month my husband pleaded and pleaded with me to save him from alhaji’s wrath. How was I going to give myself to another man, after twelve years of marriage to my husband and three children? My children were still young and were oblivious to what was happening as we always put up a smile in front of them. To cut the long story short, I went with alhaji and he took me to Dubai, and to my surprise he was very nice to me, even taking me to shopping and spa and to my shame I allowed myself to relax and two days after our arrival, alhaji took me to bed and I cried all through it all. In the morning he pleaded with me that he loved me ever since he first saw me and had always wanted me and would take good care of me, I was stunned at his confession. I later begged him to allow me call my children and he obliged.

My husband and I had told the children that I was trying to Abuja to meet my uncle who has promised to help me sort out some money and they were happy but sad to see me go, the night before I left my husband and I cried as we made love. So when I called my children, they were thrilled to hear my voice and pleaded that I buy them something, when I asked after their father, they said he was out. I called my husband several times but he wouldn’t pick his call, I don’t blame him I understood what he was going through but it was our collective agreement that I should go, what more can a wife do to help her husband in the time of need. Alhaji treated like a queen and I couldn’t be more surprised when I started enjoying sex with him and it was another experience with him entirely, and the last day of our trip, we spent it indoor doing the unthinkable for me as a married woman. We came back and at the airport he gave me hundred thousand naira and paid for my taxi home coupled with the things he bought for me. I felt awkward when I got home and my conscience wouldn’t stop pricking me. There was no one at home and I collapsed on the bed crying, it was in that state that my husband came back and met me. Ever since after the trip, my life has not remained the same nor my marriage. We try as much as possible to put the event behind us and we never spoke about it. Two months ago I discovered that I was pregnant, I don’t need a soothsayer to tell me its not my husband’s, what do I do. I can’t tell my husband. My life is in shambles and so is my marriage am at a crossroad.

Please what do I do in this situation?

11 Responses to “LETTER TO ANIEMA: MY HUSBAND USED ME TO REPAY A DEBT AND NOW AM PREGNANT, WHAT DO I DO?”

  1. (1) God tested u people’s faith & u failed, so 2 me i will advice u terminate d pregnancy, don’t let both ur husband & alhaji know about it, then secretely go on wit alhaji, extort sum money 4rm him & help build up ur husband again…den use diplomatic means 2 break up wit alhaji….

  2. No body can kill a deptor, madam, u have choosen the worst dicission in ur life. Even ur husband can never be happy with u. U jst sold ur self. It is better u remove that bastard in ur womb.

  3. Your experience with Alhaji was a rape by all it’s definitions and if were you I won’t keep the pregnancy.

  4. Alhaji will be happy to take you in when your marriage ends. You’re covered.

  5. My dear I feel 4 u so much. But I will advise u remove d bustard growing in u nd try 2 find peace with ur self nd ur marriage. I kno abortion is wrong but 4 me its d best.

  6. NENE GIFT GONGORG Reply August 13, 2015 at 06:03

    Abort dat it•bt belive me u wl nev enjoy u married life again•u husband wl b dieing in silent nd d secret wl b let knw to public one day nd u children wl b insulted for it

  7. Hmmmmh, great super story

  8. This story can go for a good movie, people can be stupid oh

  9. This is just a foolish and crazy act, but it would be better for you not to tell your husband. put the baby on his head, he was the one that sold you out

  10. That your husband is a very foolish man, for using you like that. he doesn’t value you more than a pot of soup

    • No, her husband did not use her. She should have stood her ground and passed the test. As it is, she failed the test and is guilty of infidelity and the worse part is her husband knows about it!

      I bet you her marriage will not be the same again. No man wants to share his wife with another. Yes, you think he may have used you to clear his debt but you succumbed by sleeping with Alhaji. Get ready – because your husband will one day accuse you of infidelity in front of both your families and you cannot deny because it is true.

      I think your marriage was over from the point you agreed to sleep with Alhaji. You just did not know and still don’t know it yet………..

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